Module 1: Expected Development
Please be sure you have read the “Introduction to the program” section to ensure you’re ready to start OPT-In-Early.
As we said before, if your child is doing all or most of the things expected for her age, she may not need special learning sessions. How will you know this? The best way is to consult a doctor or other specialist in child development. It also might help you if we review some things that you can expect at different ages during the first few years of your child’s life.
So what we’re going to do now is briefly describe what can be expected in your child’s development of language, thinking, and relating to other people. We are not going to cover movement skills like walking, running, balance, and handling small objects. If you are concerned about your child’s development in these areas, try to talk to an expert in this area, like your pediatrician, a developmental pediatrician, a physical therapist or an occupational therapist.
If your child is not doing a skill because she has not had the opportunity to learn it or to do it, then that does not mean she has a delay in his development. For example, if your child does not recognize herself in a mirror because she has never seen a mirror, that would not be a sign of delayed development. Or – when she’s older, if your child’s shoes do not have laces, then she would not be expected to know how to tie her shoes.
So now let’s talk about what to expect in the development of your child’s social interactions, language, and thinking, and we’ll touch a little bit on self-help skills like dressing and eating. We’re not going to talk about every aspect of development in these areas – that would take much too long – but we’ll describe the highlights that you can look for. If your child has missed some of these important milestones, we hope the rest of the OPT-In-Early program will help you teach them. Some of these skills will be discussed specifically in later modules; some of them won’t be discussed directly, but the teaching methods you will learn will help you know how to work on them.
The 1-Year-Old
The 18-Month-Old
The 2-Year-Old
The 3-Year-Old
The 4-Year-Old
The 5-Year-Old
Self-Control
When Should You Be Concerned About Your Child’s Development?
Two Important Things: NOTE: this material is explained in the video just above, at 5 minutes 30 seconds. We are putting this below, with a little more detail, so you can read it over if you wish.
One is consistency – you can’t expect consistency from a toddler. No child will look back at you every time she points at something she wants, or pay attention to your voice every time you speak to her, but she should do it some of the time.
Another important thing to note is that when we talk about delayed social interactions, we’re not talking about shyness. Many children will be very sociable with familiar people, making good eye contact, cuddling, pointing, smiling, paying attention to their faces and voices. However, when faced with strangers, some of these children may become distressed, will hide behind parents and refuse to look at the stranger. This is very typical.
In the clips we’ve shown you to demonstrate social interaction that is concerning, the child has gotten used to the adult and is not being shy as much as uninterested and avoiding her. The two children in these videos are attached to their moms, are sometimes cuddly with their moms, and sometimes look at them, but they still don’t make a lot of eye contact with their moms, or point, follow a point, or try to communicate with gestures or with sounds, and they also show the unusual behaviors we’ve mentioned.
We’d like to make another point about eye contact in specific cultures. While there are cultural variations regarding the preferred amount of direct eye contact, or mutual gaze, with another person, these usually apply to older children and adults. Eye contact is a universal feature of mother-infant bonding, and is found in all cultures. Babies have a natural tendency to focus on the face, and especially on the eyes of other people, especially their parents or other caregivers. Eye contact helps babies build attachment to others, recognize how others feel, and see what others are looking at. Reduced eye contact or active avoidance of eye contact is a feature of autism across all cultures. Throughout this program we will encourage parents from all backgrounds to reinforce eye contact in their infants, especially those who are at risk for an autism spectrum disorder.
To sum up what we’ve been discussing, here’s a list of some behaviors of concern. Again, be aware that no toddler will do what’s expected all the time, but she should do what’s expected some of the time, like look at you, point to things, and have a happy expression on her face.
One important point about this list of concerning behaviors: we have listed them in their severest form. For example, we list NO PRETEND PLAY and DOESN’T RESPOND TO HIS/HER NAME. But you should also be aware of milder forms of these concerns. For example, a child may have a bit of pretend play but it’s only what the child has been specifically taught or she’s less interested in pretending than other children her age, or she does the same bit of pretending over and over. Similarly, a child might respond to her name every once in a while, but much less than you would expect for her age. It can be difficult to decide if the child is delayed in any of these areas, or showing less interest or ability than would be expected. Don’t hesitate to bring up any concerns with your child’s health provider or other expert in child development.
Behaviors that are Concerning:
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Boys and Girls
Will boys and girls show these behaviors differently? There has been a lot of research in the last decade or so looking at whether boys and girls with autism are different. Some studies of older children suggest that girls may have somewhat milder difficulties with social interaction, or show somewhat milder repetitive behaviors. However, the research findings are not consistent. These findings overall suggest that autistic behaviors, such as those listed above, are not different between boys and girls, especially in the toddler age group (ages 1-3 years).
What Should You Do If You Notice These Things?
As we said before, you should consult a doctor if you have any of these concerns. It might be helpful if you can bring your child’s doctor a list of skills that you think might be delayed, as well as behaviors you see that concern you. But even if your concerns are not very specific, don’t hesitate to discuss them with your child’s doctor. There are questionnaires your doctor can give you that are designed to see if your child is at risk for developmental delays, including language delay, or social-emotional delay, or for specific developmental disorders like autism spectrum disorders (ASD). Your concerns should be taken seriously, even if your child’s development turns out to be perfectly fine.
If you have no concerns about your child’s development in the areas of social skills, thinking, or language, then you will not need to do many of the things we will describe in these programs, like having learning sessions to teach specific skills. However, some of the ideas we will discuss, like rewarding good behavior and how to handle behavior you don’t like, may still be useful. And even though you won’t need to have special learning sessions, you may still be interested in how to teach skills by breaking them down into small steps – this can be useful in teaching any child, for example, if you’re teaching your child to dress herself, bathe herself, or tie her own shoes.