Eye Contact With Adults
Getting more eye contact is a very important part of paying attention and interacting with others. One way to get more eye contact is to use eye contact as the on-off switch for having fun. This is very easy to do on the swings if your child enjoys that. Just like the teacher did in the last video, stand in front of your child while you push him on a swing. Push it the way he likes a few times. Then, catch the swing and hold it still, waiting for eye contact. As soon as he looks at you, give him a big smile and give him another push while saying “Push!” in a happy tone of voice.
As we talked about before, you can do the same thing with many other toys. This works best with toys that your child cannot play with easily all by himself. Bubbles, tops, and pinwheels are good for this kind of play.
If your child does not often look at you, one idea is to bring something he’s really interested in, or wants, near your eyes. In this next video, watch how the teacher puts the bubble wand near her eyes to get the child to look at her.
Music works well too. You can play music or sing to your child; if your child is enjoying the music and looking at you, keep the music or singing going. When he looks away from you, pause the music until he looks into your eyes. As soon as you have eye contact, begin again immediately.
The next two clips show examples of how to do this with two different ball toys. Notice in each clip how the teacher pairs eye contact with continuing the fun.
You can also make it easier for your child to make eye contact with you by kneeling in front of him. This way, you’ll appear closer to his height. You don’t have to be exactly eye-to-eye. If you are close enough and just in front of him, he’ll see you right away when he looks up. Just don’t get so close that it’s uncomfortable for him.
You can teach eye contact by playing fun games with your child. Just use the most fun parts of the activities to reinforce your child’s eye contact. For example, giving him another push on the swing, blowing another line of bubbles, handing him another ball, or making a toy work, can all be rewards for eye contact. Give him these rewards immediately after he looks at you. Remember, timing is everything!
Children under three years old, and especially under two years old, sometimes have a hard time connecting their behavior with the reward for their behavior. It’s important to give the reward within 1-2 seconds to help the child make the connection.
Of course, you can add a word or two if you like as well. Keep your language simple and use only key words, like “Blow” or “Sing,” or “Ready set go!” You may be able to teach some language at the same time, or at least introduce your child to some new words.